moodiful819

Professional Jellyfish

Posts tagged shakespeare

308,707 notes

Summary of Romeo and Juliet

romeo:
im so sad
romeo:
ill never be happy
romeo:
a party sure why not ill just sulk around an- WOAH
romeo:
WHO DAT
romeo:
SHE GOT DA BOOTY
romeo:
imma dance with her
romeo:
*dancin wit teh juliet*
juliet:
dafuq are you
romeo:
shh *kiss*
juliet:
:oo
*party over*
romeo:
AYYY LOOK I FOUND DAT LADY'S HOUSE
romeo:
LADY
romeo:
HEY LADY
juliet:
OMG HI I REMEMBER YOU
romeo:
yeah its me hey wanna get married
juliet:
dont you think its too soon
romeo:
idk
juliet:
brb
romeo:
k
juliet:
HEY YEAH LETS GET MARRIED TOMORROW
romeo:
AWW YEAH I BET THIS PUTS ME ABOVE MERCUTIO AND BENVOLIO IN MAN POINTS
*next day*
rome and juli:
FRIAR MARRY US PLEASE:
friar:
idk and ROMEO WEREN'T YOU JUST SULKING OVER ROSALINE LIKE YESTERDAY
romeo:
yeh
friar:
ok fine ur married
rome and juli:
yaaaay
*some time later*
tybalt:
WELL SLAP MY BUTTOCKS AND CALL ME A MONTAGUE IS THAT ROMEO
mercutio:
excuse you dont talk bout my friend like that
tybalt:
shut up mercutio *stab*
mercutio:
WAAHAHAH IM DED *he die*
romeo:
hnnn
tybalt:
....
romeo HNNN
tybalt:
...
romeo:
hnnnHIYAAAA *stab*
tybalt:
oH NO IM DED AHH *he die too*
prince:
ohmygod why did i JUST tell you yesterday about fighting
romeo:
i sorry
prince:
no ur banished
romeo:
HWWHWHHAAAT YOU BANBISHED ME
romeo:
*runs to friar* IMMA KILL MYSELF*
friar:
no i have plan just go to mantua ok
romeo:
k *leaves*
juliet:
FRIAR HELP THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I KNEW FOR LIKE 1 DAY JUST GOT BANISHED IMMA KILL MYSELF
friar:
NO JULIET I HAVE A PLAN you drink this potion you look dead you be put in capulet tomb until you wake up and romeo find you and you run away together
juliet:
ok
juliet:
*goes home and drinks potion*
nurse:
hey juliet rise and shi- OOOH MY GOD LADY CAPULET COME HERE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
lady capulet:
wha- OH NOO OH NO okay lets throw her in the tomb of dead people
nurse:
k
juliet:
*in da tomb* zzZzzZZzzzZ *not actually dead just sleepin*
romeo's servant:
AYY YOO ROMEO I GOTS NEWS FOR YA
romeo's servant:
JULIET'S DEAD
romeo:
WHAT
romeo:
WHAaaAaaaT
romeo:
OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND POISON MYSELF BEFORE LOOKING INTO THE SITUATION AT ALL OR CONTACTING THE FRIAR OR ANYTHING
romeo:
*buys potion*
romeo:
*breaks into the tomb of dead capulet people*
romeo:
oh my god its juliet wow she doesn't even look dead
romeo:
but im sure she is
romeo:
*kiss juliet*
romeo:
*drinks poison*
romeo:
he ded
juliet:
*yawning* YAWWWN oh i can't wait to see my rome- WHAT DAFUQ
juliet:
IT'S ROMEO NEXT TO ME
juliet:
HE DED
juliet:
*grabs sword and stabs herself*
oh yeah and romeo also killed Paris in the tomb by the way forgot to add that b/c apparently killing tybalt wasn't enough
friar:
*comes in cell*
friar:
uh oh
prince:
WHAT DIS
CAPULET:
WHAT DIS
LADY CAPULET:
WHAT DIS
MONTAGUE:
WHAT DIS
CApULET:
*strokes montagues face* brother

Filed under shakespeare Lit-nerding

186,225 notes

So, my friend is stage managing Macbeth and made this status today…

nottoooldfordisney:

fuckingmultiverse:

letsgivethesekidsashow:

honeychildplease:

image

I’m quite pleased with this.

Rapping this out loud in my empty classroom like swag.

WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WADDUP I AM A BIG SCOT

I’M SO PUMPED ABOUT SOME VISION THAT THE WITCHES GOT

I WILL BE THANE, SO SAYS THE PROPHECY

THAT PEOPLE LIKE “DAMN, MACBETH DESERVES GLORY”

macklebeth

(via silverlight70)

Filed under cannot. CANNOT shakespeare JESSICA LOOK AT THIS Lit-nerding

176,570 notes

sherlocksmyth:

THOU = “YOU” WHEN YOU’RE FUCKING DOING SOMETHING.

THEE = “YOU” WHEN YOU’RE HAVING SOMETHING FUCKING DONE TO YOU.

THY = “YOUR” AND “YOURS” WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING VOWEL.

THINE = “YOUR” AND “YOURS” WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING CONSONANT.

IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE SHITTY OLD ENGLISH TEXT POSTS, DO IT RIGHT.

(via megii-of-mysteri-ousstranger)

Filed under words shakespeare

227,773 notes

ibelieveitsanime:

songofspoilers:

gildatheplant:

I feel that anyone who believes Romeo & Juliet is about some kind of Great and Timeless Love TM* needs to see this.

WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS TODAY IN MY SHAKESPEARE CLASS. 

If you go and actually read what Romeo says to Benvolio in the first scene, you will realize that he is only upset because HE WANTED ROSALINE’S BODY AND SHE SAID NO AND SO ROMEO WAS MOPING AND PITCHING A FIT ABOUT IT. Then, the second he lays eyes on Juliet, he’s basically saying

During the balcony scene, Romeo talks about how he scaled the wall of the garden to see Juliet. That is not romantic. That is disrespectful to her. This is a private area of the Capulet home, and Capulet built the wall around it to protect his daughter. This was a time when a woman’s virtue was the most important thing she owned. If Juliet was found with a man in this very private part of her home, everyone would think she was no longer a virgin, her reputation would be ruined, and it would be much harder, if not impossible, for her father to make a good marriage.

Speaking of good marriages, Count Paris is seen as the bad guy because he “comes between” Romeo and Juliet. Capulet had arranged for Paris to marry Juliet in 2 years time, when she would be 16, in a time when most women were already married and mothers by the time they were Juliet’s age at (almost but not quite) 14. Most fathers would have already had their daughters married by now, but he wants to wait two more years AND PARIS IS OKAY WITH THAT. Not only that, but Paris is young (her father could have had her married to a 60 year old man), titled (he’s a fucking Count), wealthy (again, he’s a count, which means Juliet will have financial stability), and, from what we see of him, he is a very good guy. Capulet could have done a LOT worse in choosing his son-in-law.

Finally, here’s something to consider: Juliet was 13, Romeo was 17. Their relationship lasted 3 days, defied their parents, and ended in the deaths of 6 people.

If I ever hear you say that Romeo and Juliet is the greatest love story ever told, I will bitch slap you.

That is all.

THANK YOU! SOMEBODY FINALLY PUT IT IN WORDS FOR ME

(Source: cessium, via auroralynne)

Filed under shakespeare accurate Bless this this. all of it.