moodiful819

Professional Jellyfish

Posts tagged lulz

107,147 notes

bettydays:

I have a story.

So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake. 

image

When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”

And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”

He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.

All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”

(Source: toocooltobehipster, via jampelock)

Filed under JESSICA LOOK AT THIS lulz I am going to Hell for laughing at this

217,192 notes

saxypone:

fuchsiamae:

dextronoms:

bitches-im-balin:

bigbigtruck:

krudman:

I love this

"you come here often?" "DWARVEN CRAAAFTS"

"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"
"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"

"hey let me buy you a drin-"
"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"

"hey gorgeous-"
"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"

"hey beauti-""SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"

saxypone:

fuchsiamae:

dextronoms:

bitches-im-balin:

bigbigtruck:

krudman:

I love this

"you come here often?"
"DWARVEN CRAAAFTS"

"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"

"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"

"hey let me buy you a drin-"

"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"

"hey gorgeous-"

"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"

"hey beauti-"

"SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"

(Source: spookysage, via khattriya-leng)

Filed under lulz JESSICA LOOK AT THIS video games

23,930 notes

Tyler (on how Shelley and Tyler first met): My truly most embarrassing moment was when I went into the hair and make-up trailer, and I was aware that Jill Wagner who plays Kate was back on the show and I’d gone in. I had some stuff on my hands and hair, and I see this one getting her hair done, so it’s just this side hair thing and it’s very similar to Jill. And I came to give her a hug, just thought I’d run over and say hi. So I ran over, gave her a kiss on the cheek, turned, definitely not Jill, and I immediately went, “You’re not Jill, you’re not Jill, I just insulted you, I’m so sorry. Oh, my God, hi, I’m Tyler, nice to meet you.” 

Holland: In Tyler Hoechlin’s world, a kiss on the cheek is an insult. 

Tyler: I just invaded her personal space!  

(Source: dailytylerhoechlin, via lesbianfang)

Filed under lulz adorbs

77,901 notes

necroticnymph:

briansandstorm:

That awkward moment when Diablo shows up to your religious protest

This reminds me of an old story I heard from a friend. One year, an anime con was being held the same weekend as a Bible Conference. This dude in an Ifrit costume, stilts and all, gets into the elevator, all hunched over, on his way down to the lobby. Before he could reach the lobby, the elevator stopped on another floor. Two old ladies clutching bibles were about to step on when they see this giant red demon-creature.

And in his deepest voice he says, “Going down?”

They shrieked and ran off to find another elevator.

(via firehydrant--synonymous)

Filed under brb dying lulz

233,697 notes

fyeahnix:

qoyqoyi:

cinematicnomad:

apparently e.l. james called former child star mara wilson (matilda) a “sad fuck” for critiquing the 50shades books a while ago and now there’s a feud. i love it.

this gives me hope.

I have just checked on Amazon for Abigail Barnette’s book The Boss. If you have a Kindle, the book is free (I don’t know for how long or whatever). I don’t have Amazon Prime atm, but I’ve just gotten the book.

(via firehydrant--synonymous)

Filed under 50 shades of grey lulz celebrities books Lit-nerding JESSICA LOOK AT THIS