Posts tagged lulz
Posts tagged lulz
I have a story.
So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake.
When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”
And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”
He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.
All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”
I love this
"you come here often?"
"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"
"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"
"hey let me buy you a drin-"
"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"
"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"
"SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"
Tyler (on how Shelley and Tyler first met): My truly most embarrassing moment was when I went into the hair and make-up trailer, and I was aware that Jill Wagner who plays Kate was back on the show and I’d gone in. I had some stuff on my hands and hair, and I see this one getting her hair done, so it’s just this side hair thing and it’s very similar to Jill. And I came to give her a hug, just thought I’d run over and say hi. So I ran over, gave her a kiss on the cheek, turned, definitely not Jill, and I immediately went, “You’re not Jill, you’re not Jill, I just insulted you, I’m so sorry. Oh, my God, hi, I’m Tyler, nice to meet you.”
Holland: In Tyler Hoechlin’s world, a kiss on the cheek is an insult.
Tyler: I just invaded her personal space!
There are a bunch of human shaped gates in the middle of Times Square….and people are trying to fit themselves in them…..holy shit…..
The Enigma of Times Square Fault.
LOL Never gets old
Buy me cute underwear and oversized hoodies and let me fall asleep in your lap
What makes this for me is the url.
That awkward moment when Diablo shows up to your religious protest
This reminds me of an old story I heard from a friend. One year, an anime con was being held the same weekend as a Bible Conference. This dude in an Ifrit costume, stilts and all, gets into the elevator, all hunched over, on his way down to the lobby. Before he could reach the lobby, the elevator stopped on another floor. Two old ladies clutching bibles were about to step on when they see this giant red demon-creature.
And in his deepest voice he says, “Going down?”
They shrieked and ran off to find another elevator.
whenever i’m feeling sick and just like “i’m going to DIE” the boyfriend’s always like don’t say that……sorry, you’re right i forgot, i’m never going to die. i’m going to live forever, long after the sun has collapsed into a white dwarf star. in 100 quintillion years when…
This is the dream.
do you ever just start thinking about sex and zone out for a couple of seconds and stare into space and then you come back and you’re like ah shit i hope no one realised i was thinking about sex just now
#disappointed glare at my boner for giving everything away
[“THE SCENT OF HER VAGINA WAS (Fanfic Flamingo) MUSTY”]
apparently e.l. james called former child star mara wilson (matilda) a “sad fuck” for critiquing the 50shades books a while ago and now there’s a feud. i love it.
this gives me hope.
I have just checked on Amazon for Abigail Barnette’s book The Boss. If you have a Kindle, the book is free (I don’t know for how long or whatever). I don’t have Amazon Prime atm, but I’ve just gotten the book.